My dad, who is my role model and the person I love more than almost anything other than my mom, gave up everything to leave Pakistan and come here to the states. He has sacrificed so much for his family and even now we’re still poor but Alhamdulillah were in a good place.
I was talking to him tonight just casually and he was telling me with pride about how he has almost 30k in his retirement account and even though I was smiling and telling him how awesome that is I wanted to cry inside.
My dad is one of the most beautiful, kind, loving souls ever. He is the kind of person that sees a person walking in the rain and without fail will stop and offer them a ride even if we have somewhere to be. He has never failed to donate to the masjid even when we have almost nothing. He taught me everything about Islam and this guy could argue teleological or epistemological arguments with the best of them despite only having a high school education. He has earned his position as a windows engineer through nothing but skill where all of his colleagues have college degrees. He has never once let me feel like he couldn’t provide for me and while I may not have had the newest toys or the nicest stuff he never once let me not have things.
I pray five times a day. My dad PRAYS five times a day. He can feel God in ways I’m only just learning to see the edges of. If I could be half the Muslim my father is I would be happy.
All of that to say that I’m ashamed that I’m poor. With the grace of God I was accepted into medical school and I’ll start this coming summer. So at the very least I’m not a burden to him anymore but he’s still got two other kids he’s gotta provide for.
I need to be a doctor already. I need to have money and I need to have safety and security because if I did then my dad could retire and never have to worry about money again. I want my mom and dads biggest concern to be spoiling their grandkids and doing whatever they want (my dad wants to build a school In Pakistan and my mom wants to teach Quran here). They should have the financial security that I’m supposed to provide. They shouldn’t have to worry about house payments and bills. They should worry about seeing the world and hanging with their friends and enjoying themselves.
I just need them to keep going for a little while. Just a few more years. If I can just make it through med school and my little brother can be an engineer than Insha’Allah they will never have to worry ever again. I will never let them want for anything ever again. I just need a little bit of time.
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