Am an American. Have had good experiences with Islam. And a few questions.

Thought this would be a nice account for brothers and sisters to read.

Born late 90's/mid 00's, somewhat strict Catholic household I was raised in.

So from age 16 to present day, I've been reading Quran and learning everything I can about Deen. I started this because it was ~2014 (declaration of IS) when there was massive controversy about even the word "Islam". I saw "ISLAM" on news headlines. That's what made me just look up the simple concepts of what this "Islam" was.

so while my boys would be trying to get girls/trying to snort pills/trying to smoke anything that combusts, I was sitting at home and reading, memorizing, reciting Qur'an.

I really feel like I've made a personal connection with Allah, something I haven't been able to do for a long time.

I'm talking like, as a child I was never able to feel a connection with Allah, I'm not sure why. I think it is because I was beat as a child, I still am awkward to my family. Saying "I love you" to my mom or dad just hasn't been something I've said in I'm not sure how long. It's just not expressed for some reason.

There's nothing horrible about it anymore, inshaAllah Allah will forgive them for whatever wrongs were done, just don't view my family negatively for me.

I'm kind of viewing what I experienced as being a "sub-optimal" environment for a child, so I want to know what the best environment would be.

So now I'm writing this as a 20 year old man with his stuff decently sorted out. Am in a very good University mashaAllah.

I just want to know how am I supposed to be as a family man? Muslim Grandfathers/Fathers, how do I even begin trying to find marriage?

I've watched countless lectures on the single life. I am devoted to not comitting zinah, and just want a wife ASAP inshaAllah.

I mean I just feel like I'm kind of stuck here. I'm 20 and just trying to marry and have a nice family inshaAllah. These people around me are sticking to vices which are just generally not good for any family. They're drinking, having premarital relations, and other indecencies of such nature.

The sisters of these lands are even telling me to my face "my purpose is more than serving men"

The way I'm seeing "my purpose is more than serving men"

it just DIRECTLY translates into "I don't want a family", completely ignoring the implication that men are to be served.

great. next? you feel me? haha

I'm just not hearing/seeing/knowing the existence of any other pious sisters around me. Women my age here (18-22) are just NOT trying to marry, I don't know what's with it. They obsess on the idea of being a powerful woman as if I'm oppressing them in the first place.

the purpose of wanting a woman is a MARRIAGE to nicely build with her, why are sisters viewing this as a bad thing?

IDK where to start or anything, and I'm 20 and this just feels like it's getting played out, I just gotta marry ASAP.

p.s. most of this is honestly like normal stuff any decent Muslim guy should know. If I was more socially capable I think I'd find out more about my marriage questions. I'm really only posting about this in the first place because I don't have a father or mother to talk with about this family stuff.

submitted by /u/thumpar72
[link] [comments]

from Islam https://ift.tt/2JSt5cR