Salaams. I am a 37 year old male living in USA I've been wanting to get married for nearly 7 years ive spoken to my parents who spoke all our relatives nothing came out of it for nearly 7 years in that 7 years. mlMy younger sister got married, has two kids Mashallah. My parents have been occupied with a wedding few years later A baby who's now 2 1/2 years and now 1 month old for the second child. In all that time nothing ever happened for me I was on the brink of giving up. I told my parents that I'd try online and they didn't say yes or no just okay.. Last November on a Islamic site A sister who's a revert contacted me we started talking and last month we both decided we liked each other and want to proceed with marriage.
I knew there Huddles to pass with my family however last week I finally found the courage to tell my family and I saw my mom's face just becoming depressed and sad when I mentioned she's a revert and different nationality. My dad seemed okay and my sister wanted more information so I gathered their questions and sent her an email which I forwarded to them. They asked for pictures while, I told her she sent them.
I happened to catch my mom looking at the pics on her phone and just seeing disappointment this really hurt me inside, I'm a grown man who's never cried but I really wanted to. I kept it to myself and didn't say anything. My sister saw the pics and said she's normal looking.
The questions started coming. What if she's not like us, I replied she isn't like us, what if her family are gangster types, I said they aren't, how will she understand our culture she isn't part of our culture why not look for someone who's part of our culture, I explained very calmly that we have to been for 7 years nothing happened, she's a revert how do I know she's a Muslim, I replied only Allah knows since she's the one to answer to him, are you going to abandon us and leave (I live with my parents talking care of them financially) I said she'd agreed to move in for a few yrs.
My mom the one I am really trying to get approval from has broken my heart we are very close and I thought she'd understand that I am very alone and want this. She keeps going back and forth with questions of doubt then reassurances, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself.
Last night my mom said something that's put me in a depressed state. She said my dad saw the pics and didn't like her, my sister as well ( mind you my sister saw the pics in front of me and said she's normal looking) I. Haven't seen my dad since our work schedule are different but knowing him he's always supported me regardless so hearing that broke my heart.
I am at a loss what to do. We both like each other our goals in life match we have the same sense of humor we both have the intention to get married.
I feel as though my entire life my family has made decisions for me, they asked me to stay with them and support them financially I did without question. If I go out my mom will start questioning where I am why I'm not home even after explaining I'd be going out with friends. I have no idea how to proceed I feel as though if I push they'll reject her even more and if I give up ill be in the same place.
Sorry to the rant and weird context in formatting.
[link] [comments]
from Islam https://ift.tt/2KbelWu
No comments:
Post a Comment