i've been living my life with the viewpoint that empiricism as well as in a way materialism was the only logical and rational way to live life. whilst i still hold that both are extremely important to me what i've come to realise through personal experience is maybe that might not be the case.
okay so this is my massive issue, according to my truth that i have witnessed i know for a fact on a personal level that this lifestyle can't be all that there is. Basically one of the reasons i left islam was that all of it is based on faith and there is no rational/scientific reason to believe in it at all. however one thing i've come to realise is my understanding on this world isn't what i thought it was. i still have massive issues with this though, i literally feel like i can't believe in islam but again through my own personal experience i can't outright deny it entirely anymore. this is massively frustrating as i was 100% certain islam isnt true but now i'm 99% sure, i don't understand why what happened to me happened and for what reason i was given this experience but according to my parents and family it was to find my way back to "allah". based on what happened i can see why they think that but how do you turn back to something that you've been convinced didnt even exist in the first place. I was a knowledgeable muslim, i learned 1/3 of the quran, prayed, had genuine faith it felt, i wasn't your typical leave for my own desires to go party exmuslim. in fact i was severely depressed for a long time that all that i believed in wasn't true. it broke me at one time that it was all potentially a lie. i felt no relief, no excitement, no fear, i felt nothingness. anyways therapy helped, i got through that, literally i thought there was no way back for me. look i've even opened dialogue that i'm sure had an impact on others leaving.
personally to me it looks like mohammed was literally just spouting nonsense, the quran could potentially be filled with numerous contradictions and its filled with circular reasoning. mohammeds sunnah as well is filled with compared to my personal morality things that are completely abhorrent, the usual child marriage/sex slave stuff you see people leaving islam for.
anyways i have come to a personal realisation through this experience that maybe i was wrong about islam being true. I want to live a life of truth and whilst my friends think i'm batshit for even opening up to the possibility islam is true i literally can't deny my personal experience.
the problem with this is that all belief systems from organised religions rely on anecdotal illogical tenants. if you want to know what happened to me its going to make me sound mentally ill i completely understand but what i went through can't be explained outside the islamic/faith narative. also it wasn't just me that went through it it was my brother (atheist) and my family. my brother has since started opening up to islam again but i'm in a hard place right now. i was anti-islam for so long.
i still can't see why or how there is any evidence for a creator. look macro evolution is most likely true, that destroys the quranic narrative. i would like to open up a discussion to learn. how do you know islam is even true exactly? there are 1000s of gods 1000s of religions. every religious non religious person feels they know the truth. how can we establish truth outside of our five sense exactly. even if we do that how do we conclude there is a creator? how do you conclude this creator is "allah"? as far as i can see it allah is like most of the other "gods" that have been created by man. if the quran is the book from allah why is it that its so confusing and filled with apparent contradictions? okay now let me go onto the hadith. mate. how could allah allow such ridiculous things to be entered into it and worst of all preserved. examples: Camel urine drinking/sex slavery/ wrong predictions, completely unscientific ones.
also before my exmoose "brothers" bombard me in my dms you need to understand im approaching this topic from a personal anecdotal point of view. in that sense you can show me again and again how islam is false but nothing will take away from what i've literally experienced. which is frustrating i know, you're just looking out for me, i get it. its been years now, but i'm going around in circles. i'm stuck in the middle of disbelief and opening up to believing but from the opposite spectrum. please try to understand how difficult it is for me.
[link] [comments]
from Islam https://ift.tt/2HaaAms
No comments:
Post a Comment