Salam, i basically have found myself in a situation where i want to get married but i have many many options to chose from and this gives me anxiety. I have so many things that are important to me and i want to make sure i go with the woman who is the best fit. I feel scared i will chose the wrong one and because I always have options available i will just divorce if things go bad and remarry. But i don't want to because for a women being a divorcee in our culture is hard plus what kind of life is that just running through a bunch of women. That is the life i have left so i don't want to go back to it in a halal way lol. Please is there any dua that can help me? I feel very confused. I have one potential with immense character and islam the way i understand it but i'm not as attracted, then i have many that are very attractive but there islam is so different to hers. I'm not judging but they don't base there life around the quran and sunnah but i try to. They have so much worldliness that it bores me but I know I am attracted to them which is frustrating. I have the dunya in the corner of my eye but everything else on the hereafter. I model my life around what he quran and sunnah says, like any issue my first thing is to think what does allah say about this? not what does my community think. Like i have no wordly desires really compared to most I know. I've stopped meeting with all of them until i get my head sorted. Please help me i'm getting older and I have no partner and it makes me sad at times.
I don't believe in this one and only stuff it makes no sense, I also don't find conventional romance and love as we see it today as what love actually is. These women know this but all think they can change me. I' scared i will disappoint them all since i'm very reserved with emotions and struggle with feeling this high euphoric love everyone seems to feel. I also see things such as praying together, reciting quran over my wife etc as romantic but many of them see grand gestures as what is romantic. Example i do not celebrate my own birthday because it makes no sense, nor do i believe in engagement or fancy weddings filled with haram. but they do and still they think i will change my mind when i won't. It is so taboo in our culture to think like me, i don't care what anyone thinks i just want to start marriage of with allahs blessing not his curse. I don't date anymore either since i see it as poison, everyone knows me around my area as some kind of playboy but i'm really not. I made many mistakes but I'm so over it and I wish I could take it all back but I can't. But I've been through so many women i think it has corrupted me, i'm so picky and scared of making a mistake with marriage. What advice does the prophet give in this situation? I'm struggling to sleep worrying about this. I want to have a wife already.
jzk
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