Hi, some of you guys might know me. I'm not Muslim and never have been, but in the past I've spent a lot of time both here and on r/exmuslim, trying to understand different perspectives. I have more than once challenged people on that subreddit about their hostile and sometimes toxic attitude towards Islam, but I'm here to talk about the other side of the issue.
In general, it seems like Muslims are at best dismissive to ex-Muslims, and at worst outright hostile. On r/exmuslim people regularly post stories describing the horrendous treatment they recieve from their families, and I have personally seen people here defend their families by saying things like "there's no problem with a parent ostracising their child if they leave Islam (an actual thing someone here said that got upvoted). Other common reactions include "they're lying", "people only leave Islam because they want to sin/they're weak of moral character", "they treat Muslims poorly so why should Muslims show them respect", "they're sinners so they don't deserve any sympathy", etc.
I feel like this is an issue that needs to be addressed, because it seems to be very common here. While I understand I have no right to tell you how to practise your religion or how to run your community, as a non-Muslim I can offer a very useful perspective:
The general dismissiveness of practicing Muslims towards non-Muslims (even putting aside the stories of ostracisation, abuse, and worse) is a major factor that causes me to have a generally negative view of Islam. I suspect this is also true of a lot of other non-Muslims.
It's worth noting that a lot of ex-Muslims were never given a choice in their religion. They were never given the option to not be Muslim in this lifetime, and once they get old enough to decide for themselves are branded apostates for doing so. Others feel they were misinformed about the religion when they converted, or were in a vulnerable place when they did so. I feel it's deeply unfair to attack those people, especially when they often already face abuse and ostracisation from their family and community. It's not an easy choice to make - if ex-Muslims wanted the easy way out, they'd just be lazy Muslims. Actually leaving the religion is an incredibly difficult and scary thing to do compared to just not following it.
In my view, if your goal is to bring ex-Muslims back into the fold of Islam (and encourage non-Muslims to convert), the single best way to do so is not to pressure and attack people who choose to leave the religion. The best way, at least in my view, is to show those people compassion, kindness, and understanding. To accept their choice and encourage them to decide on their own, so that they feel they can return to the religion if they should choose to do so.
I understand ex-Muslims often show unfair hostility towards Islam and Muslims, but often that hostility is motivated and fueled by the continued mistreatment they recieve at the hands of practitioners of the religion. The best way to tackle that hostility, IMO, is to meet it with kindness.
I apologise if this comes off as an ignorant non-Muslim telling people how to live their lives and practise Islam. Maybe I shouldn't have posted this, I don't know. I guess I just feel like I should continue to try and open up a dialogue before I give up on this community completely.
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