Lately, I've been waking up and wondering "why?". Why keep going I'm just stuck in a hamster wheel for the rest of my life, can't ever seem to get ahead in life. Whenever I make progress or anything, life seems to always kick me in the nuts and pull me back down to reality. The reality that I know my life isn't all that bad compared to other people, yet here I am stuck thinking dark thoughts and I find every once in a while I play the "choking" game with myself.
I have a family. The only reason why I get up is because they are completely dependent on me. I'm the sole breadwinner in my family. But lately, its been increasingly hard to not want to end it all. I have a wife who loves me but doesn't respect me and even though she loves me, being loved is not the same as feeling loved. I can't really blame her though because my three kids are so hyperactive that its impossible to take them anywhere or keep them in the house without trying to tire them out. They drive my wife crazy while I'm at work and when I get back from work mom takes off to the bedroom to get a break while I get to deal with the craziness. Living out of obligation is no way to live. Walahi their are times I regret getting married especially in my early 20's. I could have had my whole life to live.
What do I do?
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