Okay hey.... I need some serious advice! I’ve posted before but it got ignored so I removed it...
Overall questions I want advice/answers to:-
Q1) Does Allāh still punish you in Hell even after you’ve truly and properly repented in this life, and He forgives all your sins? Like, do you still receive a punishment for those sins, even though you’ve been forgiven?
Q2) Why do I cry over my sins and the fact that I’ve ruined my life when I think about the things I have done, but when I talk to Allāh about the sins I feel emotionally numb?
Q3) Am I allowed to talk to Allāh about anything? I talk to Him about everything, like people at work who are rude. Just whatever is bothering me or whatever I’m happy about because I have developed a HUGE amount of trust in Him, but is this allowed? After Maghrib, I will talk and talk and talk then the next thing I know the Adhaan for Isha goes off. Am I annoying him? I have nobody else to talk to about these things and I really only want to talk to Him. I get excited for Zuhr when I’m in work... it’s like I can’t wait to be alone so it’s just me and Him.
Q7) I ask for forgiveness, Sabr, guidance, light in my heart, to be guided away from hypocrisy and ignorance. Am I doing this right? Please someone correct me.
Q4) How do I encourage my family to pray and repent before it gets too late? I already make dua to Allāh that He guides them before taking them back. Should I leave this to Him now? Or still encourage, but I don’t want them to get annoyed with me ?
Q5) I have no urge to listen to music, I only want to hear the Quran being recited and that’s all that goes through my mind (Favourite is currently Muhamad Saleh Nafea’s recitation of Surah Nuh), certain “desires” have been repressed... Is Allāh guiding me? Would He guide someone like me, who has sinned so terribly?
Q6) I knew one of two muslim boys who died in a car crush whilst intoxicated with alcohol, can I pray for both of them? Give charity in their name? Beg for their forgiveness?
So, I’ve (25/F) sinned.... horrifically. Like, really bad. Well one day a few weeks ago I felt the urge to get up and pray. Up until that point I had been watching islamic videos and listening to Quran recitations. So there was some tugs but this one was huge.
I’ve been okay so far... I will pray Zuhr in work and not care if anybody walks by the room and sees, which is something I have always used as an excuse not to pray... I asked Allāh to give me confidence to pray in public in a dua, I guess this worked? I slept through my alarm twice for fajr and both times I was angry with myself and kinda cried.
I’m not perfect or a good muslim woman. I know this. But after praying, reading Quran, researching Islam and really delving into it, I look at this life differently. It feels so surreal and temporary. Before I was just taking every day as it is, now I feel... strange and out of place? I can’t explain it.
Sorry for rambling. Basically I’ve been trying to encourage my family to pray. I make dua to Allāh and beg He guides them before it’s too late. The only person I know in my family who still prays and is really religious is my grandfather. He goes to the mosque for all 5 prayers. Nobody else bothers, and I was in that same state.
Now I would like for us all to pray together, as a family. To worship and praise Allāh with my mother and sisters is something I dream of! I was trying to encourage them, repent and maybe if we prayed our lives would be better. My mother and older sister said to me, “you still get punished” I asked “even after truly repenting? But Allāh tells us he is the most merciful and most forgiving?” my sister said “yes, you will still get punished” and my mother agreed. Is this the case? Thing is, my mum used to pray 5 times, and after being in an abusive relationship she stopped. She never really taught us much about Islam either, but she knows so much it shocks me. They still believe but I’m scared for them and for myself.
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